WTF: The Tit Pillow

All y'all single lads out there: I am honored to bring you... the tit pillow. We all know those lonely nights tend to get, well... lonely, and what could be better than cuddling up to a warm, soft, tit-shaped pillow, I ask you?

Spotted recently at an Easter fair in Kutná Hora, the tit pillow really boils down femininity to its essence. At only 190 kč a pop, it's cheaper than a trip to Darlings and probably a safer option. It's the Czech equivalent of a Snuggie.

WTF: Kitten tears

This was spotted at a Billa grocery store. Just try and say no to that! Never mind what the charity actually is, can't you see that kitten is CRYING?

WTF: I said banana PEPPERS!

I stumbled across this pizza last Saturday morning on my way to the potraviny. From a distance, I saw a pizza box and several pieces of a pizza, and wondered in horror why anyone would throw away a PIZZA, possibly the best food on earth. When I got closer, I stopped to take a look, because I'm gross.
I quickly figured out why the pizza was on the sidewalk. It had banana slices and what appeared to be curry powder on it. I would have thrown it in disgust, too. I'm all for creative toppings, but enough is enough.

WTF: Attack of the Dead Pig.

I guess twelve years of being vegetarian have left me unable to enter a butcher's without feeling at least a bit queasy and guilty, and so imagine my delight when I spotted this exhibit on a recent trip to a Vinohrady butcher. I was shopping for ground meat, which I still don't really trust and there was Mr. Piggie, onion in mouth, staring at me out of questioning, well, not eyes, but rather weird sticks he had for eyes. In case anyone was confused what was in front of them, the owners were nice enough to stick a sign on top of the pig's head reading "Pig Head". I'm a big fan of pointing out the obvious, so I left the butcher experiencing the rare emotion-mix of disgust and amusement.

WTF: Language skills really get me horny.

The sentiment expressed in the billboard above is one that I can fully relate to. Anytime I hear someone speaking in English, I just have this urge to take my clothes off. English IS sexy and speaking it will open many bedroom doors. What better reason to sign up for language classes?

Here's the billboard in its context at Florence bus station. Jeez....

WTF: The Leopard Threat

This one was given to us by my friend Ruth who snapped it at the Budejovická metro stop. What a fabulous coat! Feline patterns in general seem to have a stronghold here in the Czech Republic, and I'm with it. The best part is that there seems to be no age limit to this affinity, and I just love seeing old ladies sporting the fun, fearless female look that only leopard can convey. This lady seems to be one of them. Rock on, girl!

WTF: The monster of Riegrovy Sady

Ok it's not a monster, it's a mountain lion, also known as a cougar, also known as a really fucking big animal that can kill you. This picture was taken during the day by a friend. I personally saw the thing while cutting through the park one night. Usually I get a little creeped out doing that at night because who knows what kind of weirdos are lurking in the bushes. But now, I can also be afraid of wild animals that have been 'domesticated.'

The best part is this little leash thing the owners have it on. Like a leash is going to prevent this thing from doing what it likes to do, such as gnawing on humans, chasing prey and mauling things.

Also, this raises some strange questions. Clearly the owners live nearby, as I doubt that animal does well in the car. The park is surrounded only by apartments, so somebody is living in an apartment with a cougar. What does one feed a cougar? Is this even legal? And what's the best defense in a cougar attack? Should you play dead, kick it or yell 'what's that over there?!' and then run away when it looks?